How I became me (Part. 2)
I still remember the time of the admission tests for high school entry, being worried about the high school I would get into, what major would the class have… I even remember a phrase that I was telling to my uncle during that period “these exams will define my life, either in a good way or a bad way”.
The first year of high school hit me like nothing else until then, different colleagues, different teachers, different school, different city, different mentality all around, I could define it as quite a shock that I didn’t expect at any moment before. Looking back at those moments , I realize that my colleagues and teachers couldn't have been better. My shyness, being an introvert, avoiding talking to girls, coming from a middle class family, wearing more or less the same clothes week after week and so many other things, didn’t make me the outcast in my class - I still wonder why, what made my colleagues to see me as a good, caring and friendly human being and not being influenced by the outside cover, I wonder…
I did switch majors/classes in the second year of high school. I decided to move towards a mathematical/informatics major in opposite of the human/social/literature major from the beginning. This change was influenced by my siblings and the future projections of what would be in demand (to get hired) after I finish my college, pretty impressive critical thinking from myself at that time and as well acceptance. What did this change bring with it? New colleagues, new teachers, new dynamics in the class, new behaviors… and I became even more shy and introverted, with a strange feeling of 'being out of the picture.' Luckily, on the surface, I managed to maintain the appearance that 'everything's good'.
The switch to a new major and the accompanying social dynamics proved to be another hurdle in my journey. Though I felt increasingly out of place, I learned to adapt and navigate the complexities of adolescence. These experiences, however challenging, were crucial stepping stones on my path to self-acceptance. The path of self-discovery is ongoing, and each step taken is a valuable part of my unique story.
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